Thursday, 12 October 2017

{2018} Funny Whatsapp Status Message

Funny Whatsapp Status Message

Funny Whatsapp Status Message : Hi friends. Feeling grate and joyful? In the mood of Fun? Express your feeling with your whatsapp or facebook status with our Best Funny whatsapp status in English or send some funny messages to your friends and love ones. This is a huge collection of Funny whatsapp status and messages with almost 280+ status and messages with a lot of variety like Funny love status and quotes, Best funny whatsapp status, Short Funny status, Funny status on life and many more. So enjoyyyyyyy!!!!!! 

Funny Whatsapp Status Message 

Funny Whatsapp Status Message

3 Mistake done by everyone ..Whatsapp,Facebook & GF!

6 Peg Loading .. 😀

70% boy Have GF, Other then Have Brain!

80% of boys have girlfriends.. Rest 20% boys are having brain.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong & A tax is a fine for doing well…!
Read Also :- Cool Whatsapp Status 

A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM” 

After (M)onday and (T)uesday even the week says WTF !!

After getting drunk, Bachelor of Technology turns into Master of Philosophy.

Alcohol will give different, type of power!..

All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.

All the Rules are made.. to be break.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

Always respects your self!

Always wear cute pajamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams.

Am not lazy, I am on energy saving mode…

At least mosquito’s are attracted to me.

Attitude is like a underwear Don’t show it just wore it

AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.

Be careful of following the masses – remove the “m” and who exactly are you following?

Funny Whatsapp Status

Funny Whatsapp Status

 Read Also :- Nice Status for Whatsapp

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Behind every successful man, there is a surprised woman…

Behind every successful man… There is a confused woman.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Bitch is just a term used for girl who refuses dog’s proposal. 😛

Boys think of girls like books, if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.

Boys, if you don’t look like calvin klein models, don’t expect us to look like victoria secrets angels. (From All Bachelor Girls Association) 🙂

Brain is Intelligent !Why not have Everyone…

Brain is the best worker,When you can use it…

Brain is Work More ..When You can use…..

By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.

By the time you learn the rules of life, you’re too old to play the game.

C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping 🙂

Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you’re going to die.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Cigarette chodna sabse asan h- main hazaro baar chhod_ chukka hu…!!

Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will you please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing & suggesting.

Dear LOL and Hamm, Thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say. 😀

Funny Love Status

Funny Love Status

Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make a bad person.

Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software…it’s called #Monday, please fix it

Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.

Dear mom and dad, when I lie to you, it’s for your own good. 😛

Dear Sleep! I Know We Had Problems When I Was Younger! But NOW I Lubbb you 😀

Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.

Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Do not drink and park _accidents cause people.

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.

Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.

Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.

Don’t steal. That’s the government’s job.

Don’t worry. God is always on time.

Drunk people run on Red Light…, Normal people wait for them to turn green.!

Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

Etc Meaning – End of Thinking Capacity..

Every time I drink I get awesome 🙂

Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.

Everything funnier when your supposed to be quiet..

Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.

Excuse me …. Please empty ur pockets …. I think U stole my heart.

Excuse me! Ye lijiye aapki soch. Mujhe giri hui mili thi. 😛

Facebook account for sale, Friends included. Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^)

Funny Quotes For Whatsapp

Funny Quotes For Whatsapp

Read Also :- Love Status in English

Fact: Ph on silent mode- 10 Missed call..Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day!

Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.

Flip a coin… If head comes, I am yours, if tail comes then you are mine. 🙂

Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.

Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! 😛

Girls are like parking spaces, all the good ones are already taken.

Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. & Boys use photoshop to show their creativity…

Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

God is really creative, i mean ..just look at me..

God made coke. God made pepsi. God made me. Oh so sexy. God made rivers. God made lakes. God made you. Well… we all make mistakes.

God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China.

Good girls are bad girls that never get caught. Google just called… Google said, “Someone is looking for you.

GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.

Gravity always gets me down. 🙂

Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL

Here my dad comes on whatsapp… From now on my status would be ‘***no status***’ or just a smiley…

Hey there whatsapp is using me.

HEY YOU, yeah I’m talking to you, why the hell are you reading my status?


Best Funny Status

Best Funny Status

High Power Come ,with High voltage Current! Hmmm…..Don’t copy my status.

How can i miss something i never had?

How do people write an auto biography? I can barley remember what I had for lunch yesterday.

I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.

I am not addicted to WHATS APP. I only use it when I have time ……. lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. 🙂

I am so cool, my selfie is called a kulfi!

I am sure I have a defective iPhone, I keep pressing the home button and I’m still at work.

I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

I came here in peace, seeking gold and slaves I can handle pain until it hurts.

I don’t drink alcohol! but Feel Awesome..

I don’t have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.

I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough 😉

I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

I find it so inspiring to watch people lazier then me. I still have much to learn.

I follow the quote, “Always be true to yourself” because I only lie to others… 😛 😀

I gotta go to work today because millions of people on welfare depend on me.

I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it’s hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.

I hate fake people. You know what I’m talking about. Mannequins. 😀

Best Funny Whatsapp Status

Best Funny Whatsapp Status

I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.

I have all the money I’ll ever need – if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

I just need a good Wifi & Wife.

I know the door to your heart belongs to another, but I think I can slip in through the window.

I Like to study.. Arithmetic – NO … world history – NO …. chemistry – NO …. GIRLS – YES!!!

I live in a world of fantasy, so keep ur reality away from me!

I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won.

I love my job only when I am on Holiday…..

I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?

I may be fat, but u’re ugly – I can lose weight!

I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep 🙂

I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.

I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun.

I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos. 😀

Whatsapp Status Funny Short | Short Funny Status

Whatsapp Status Funny Short | Short Funny Status

I think my iPhone is not working. I pressed the home button and I’m still at school.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out!!!

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.

I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.

I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. 🙂

I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes!!

I want to change my name on Facebook to “No One,” so when I try to add people, it will say, “No One wants to be your friend.”

I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative. :p

I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day. 🙂

I would probably die of sleep deprivation if Facebook added a dislike button

I'm not lazy, I'm just on my energy saving mode.

If College has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking 🙂

If I agreed with you we both were wrong.

If I am wired with you then I like you..

If life doesn’t scare the shit out of you, you’re doing it wrong.

If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.

If money grew on trees, then girls would be dating monkeys..!

If my love for you is a crime, I want to be the most wanted criminal.

Funny Status On Life

Funny Status On Life

If nobody hates U, then you are doing something boring.

If school has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking

If Sunny Leone marries Sunny Deol, she will also become Sunny Deol 😛 😀 😛 😀

If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.

If U are still hate me!then No Problem!..

If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I’ll tell you more.

If you can't Change a Girl.....Change the Girl.

If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either 🙂

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

If “Da Vinci Code” has been written by Punjabi author then its name would be “Vinci Da Code”!.

In bed, it’s 6AM you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 7:45. At school it’s 1:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 1:31

In Modern Politics, Even The Leader Of The Free World Needs Help From The Sultan Of Facebookistan!!!

Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.

It is a sad fact that 20% of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the remaining end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones.

It may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food to eat later.

It’s been 70+ years, Tom. You’re never going to eat Jerry 🙂

Funny Status In English

Funny Status In English
It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. – Woody Allen

I’m a good boy with bad habits 😛

I’m cool but global warming made me vry hot

I’m in shape. Round is a shape isn’t it?

I’m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!

I’m not failed, Because my success is lost.!

I’m not lazy, I am on energy saving mode.

I’m on a whiskey diet.. I’ve lost three days already.

I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I

have no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.

I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. 🙂

Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

Last seen 1980! 😀

Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.

Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.

Laziness Is The Mother Of All Bad Habits But Ultimately She Is A Mother And We Should Respect Her.

Life is Short – Chat Fast! Life is too short smile while you still have teeth… Life is too Short – Chat Fast!

Man ask a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that girl… , which machine can I use?”
Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”!

Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.

Marriage is the cause of divorce.!

Money can’t buy LOVE but can buy WOMAN to make LOVE

Mosquitoes are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.

Funny Msg For Whatsapp

Funny Msg For Whatsapp

My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.

My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death..!!

My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lol

My father always told me, ‘Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.

My heart is stolen..can I check your braa

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours My style is unique don’t copy it plz!

Never apologize for being you.

Never laugh at your wife’s choices… you are one of them

Never make eye contact while eating a banana.

Never make the same mistake twice, there are so many new ones, try a different one each day.

Newton’s law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed.

Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with some loss of money.

No I didn’t trip …The floor looked like …it needed a hug!.

No, I’m not feeling violent, I’m feeling creative with weapons.

One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions 🙂.

Onions make me sad. A lot of people don’t realize that..

Ooooooo…..Don’t copy my status..

Our generation doesn’t knock on doors. We will call or text to let you know we’re outside..

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes..

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up….

People call me mike .. You can call me tonight.. :p.

People that Change Love status after 30 Sec… GF is the Reason….

People who exercise live longer, but what’s the point when those extra years are spent at gym..

Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time..

Reason why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. I don’t have a girlfriend..

Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection..

Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. 🙂.

Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat..

Save Water, Drink Wine!!.

Scratch here ###::::## to reveal this status...

Seeing a spider is nothing. The problem is when it disappears..

She is so fake that she should have two facebook accounts; one for each face!.

Whats app Funny Status

Whats app Funny Status
She loves me or not but I love her a lot. 😛.

Silence is the best answer of all questions and Smile is the best reaction in all situations. Unfortunately both never help in VIVA & INTERVIEW..

Some people have relationships and some people have patiyala..

Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities..

Some people should just give up at engineering or medical. Like I have!.

Sometimes its better to bunk the class instead of attending it Cause today wen I look back, my marks never make me laugh but memories d….

Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk..

Sorry… I’m not Rihanna. I don’t love the way you lie..

Status: I on Not on whatsapp...

That awkward moment when you realize that “deleting History” is more important than “creating History” nowadays..

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier..

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24 hours a day from the time we were born, and only stops when we take exam or are in love..

The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is “Salary is Credited” 🙂.

The only thing I gained so far in THIS YEAR is weight 🙂.

The real reason women live longer than men because they don’t have to live with women..

The winner of the rat race is still a rat..

There are no winners in life... only survivors..

There are two kinds of people who don’t say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot..

There’s like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world … huh.

There’s no such thing as addiction, there’s only things that you enjoy doing more than life.

There’s no such thing as addiction, there’s only things that you enjoy doing more than life..

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research..

TODAY has been cencelled. Go back to BED 🙂.

Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. 😀.

Today’s Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones..

Totally available!! Please disturb me!!!!.

Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it’s wide use three fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup..

Try to say the letter M without ur lips touching….!!.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover..

vI am not addicted to Facebook. I only use it when I have time … … … lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. 🙂.

Warning, do you think its right time to talk to me?.

We all have that one skinny friend that eats more than fat person..

We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die..

We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook 😀.

We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t know..

We live in the era of smartphones and stupid peoples..

What do girls want? EVERYTHING!!!.

What i if told you…you the read first line wrong… same with the second… :p.

When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?.

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why..

When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said..

When I actually die some people_ are going to get really haunted..

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always!.

When I was Born DEVIL said ohh shitt, competition.

When I’m a Pedestrian I Hate cars.. When I’m Driving I Hate Pedestrians….

When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the....

when nothing seems right then go left….

When people don’t laugh at my jokes I just assume that they’re not up to my level of comedy..

When your phone are 1% battery & anyone who sends a message, Or calling, Becomes the enemy ...

Whenever i have a problem, I just sing, Then i realize my voice is worse than my problem..

Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook..

Whoever says “Good Morning” on Monday’s deserves to get slapped 🙂.

Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?.

Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?.

Wife: I have changed my mind. Husband: Does the new one now work?.

Without ME, it’s just AWESO..

Women should not have children after 20. Really… 20 children are enough..

Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?.

Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull..

You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on..

You can never buy Love….But still you have to pay for it ...

You can never really say what’s on your mind, when your family is on Facebook..

You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera..

Your status won’t ever match my status neither in whatsapp nor in reality...

Hope you enjoy this huge collection of Funny Whatsapp status and messages with a vast variety like Funny love status and quotes, Best funny whatsapp status, Short Funny status, Funny status on life and many more. If you really like pls share them to your friends over facebook and whatsapp and bookmark this page to visit often.